The Horrible Misadventures of Katniss
by Hevy135
Summary: The gang is at it again and is now forced to go to a 2 year boarding school after an encounter with Slenderman and an epic Pokemon battle, but the school principal's name is SNOW! DUN DUN DUUUNNN! Post Mockingjay characters WILL be VERY VERY OOC Also this is a sequel to my first fic Bad doggy! P.S episodes may not have any continuity
1. Mute and Crippled

Disclaimer: I don't own ANY MUSIC, VIDEO GAME, TV SHOW, AND MOVIES. NOR DO I OWN THE HUNGER GAMES AND IT'S CHARACTERS! THIS IS ALL FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES!

A/n: New episode whoop dee doo! Also I'm starting have the writer's block SO COMMENT AND HELP MEH! D:

Gale is out in the forest hunting around.

Stalking behind him is none other than Saphy as Gale is about to check on a snare, Saphy silently walks behind him and taps his shoulder.

Gale: Yes-

Saphy: ROUNDHOUSE KICK!

*SLAM*

She lands her feet right on the side of his face, sending him flying.

Gale: (on the ground) Ughhhhhhh… WHAT WAS THAT FOR!

Saphy helps him up.

Saphy: I've been practicing the roundhouse kick for months. Just needed to test it out!

Gale: (Rubbing his face) Okay, but DID YOU HAVE TO SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT!?

Saphy: I DIDN'T SNEAK UP ON YOU! I silently tapped your shoulder while you were completely oblivious to my presence.

Gale: (Stuttering) yeah…but ah but ah sah…..

Saphy: LOOK, NO yeah…but ah but ah sahs alright? I gotta go and practice my kick SEE YA!

She levitates up in the air and flies towards the Victor's Village.

Gale: (looking up) Dah Fuuuddge?

* * *

Saphy: HEY KATNISS LOOK BEHIND YOU!

Katniss turns around when-

Saphy: ROUNDHOUSE KIC-

Katniss grabs Saphy's kicking leg then grabs her shoulder.

Katniss: Nice try, but I watched that youtube video where you can COUNTER Roundhouse kicks! So HA!

Saphy: (Still in the awkward position) OH YEAH? Have you ever seen the video where you can Counter Counter Roundhouse kicks?

Peeta: (In the Kitchen) I HAVVVVE!

Katniss: STAY OUT OF THIS!

Gale walks in the house.

Gale: LOOK OUT CATNIP SAPHY IS GONNA ROUNDHOUSE KICK YOU!

Katniss: YOU DON'T SAY?

Saphy loses her balance and falls down with her leg still in Katniss's arm.

*Crack*

Saphy: HEUUUUUUGHGUHGOSFHOSIHO I think you dislocated my leg.

* * *

Doctor: Alright this is gonna hurt.

He grabs Saphy's leg and bends it down.

*Crack*

Saphy: ….AHHHHHHHHH...ah...aww….oh…oh (Relaxing) that actually felt great!

Doctor: You shouldn't use that leg for a week until then use a wheelchair.

Saphy: Ok.

Gale walks in very amused that Saphy is in a wheelchair.

Saphy: What's so funny I always wanted a wheelchair.

Gale: No it's just because….youlooksocutewhenyourinjured .

Saphy: What's that BOI?

Gale: NOTHING!

_At Victor's village_

Peeta is apparently trying to juggle big spiky chestnuts while Gale is talking with Finnick who is apparently visiting from 4.

Saphy: YO! Peet can I have that chestnut when you're done?

Peeta: Sure in fact you can have one…right…now.

He chucks the chestnut as hard as he can at her which goes straight in her mouth.

Saphy: (Choking to death)

Finnick: WhY'D YOU DO THAT?

Peeta: Becauuuuseee..

_3 hours ago._

Peeta is in the bakery, blindfolded holding a sack of flour.

Peeta: (Lifting) Like this?

Saphy: Yeah now just keep it like that okay?

Peeta: Hurry it's getting heavy.

Saphy gets a barrel and a beam of wood making a seesaw. She puts the beam right in between Peeta's legs.

Saphy: Alright now just throw it.

Peeta: Just throw it?

Saphy: Yeah.

He does an underhand toss and the sack lands right on the other side causing the beam to hit him right in the happy area.

_STARS, STAR, STARS, STARS, STARS_

_End Flashback._

Peeta: So that's why.

He then realizes that no one is in the house.

Peeta: WHAT THE HELL?!

Finnick: We got bored!

* * *

Doctor: Well Miss Saphy looks like that chestnut has damaged your larynx.

Saphy: Hmmmmm?

Doctor: So for 2 weeks you MUST NEVER SPEAK if you do your vocal cords will be permanently damaged! But it's okay because you can still communicate through Microsoft Sam that is conveniently in your wheelchair.

Saphy: …..

Doctor: Give it a try.

Saphy: I WILL EAT PEETA WHEN I GET BACK.

_At Victor's village_

Saphy gets back from the hospital now crippled and mute. Katniss who is very happy starts dancing.

Katniss: YESSSS! Happy day! This day will be so peaceful I can finally have my beauty nap.

Saphy: I CAN STILL TALK WITH THIS COMPUTER NO NAP FOR YOU HA HA HA HA HA.

Saphy starts wheeling around house painfully slowly.

Saphy: I FEEL LIKE STEPHEN HAWKINGS WHERE IS PEETA I MUST EAT HIM.

Katniss: He's in the bathroom.

Saphy wheelchairs to the bathroom.

Peeta: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Saphy: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

Peeta: THAT IS MAHOGANY!

It turns out she's not really eating Peeta. Instead she's eating a mahogany wood that has Peeta written on it.

Saphy: DOES IT LOOK I CARE

Gale walks in with a piece of paper in hand.

Gale: I got a piece of paper from the mail.

Saphy comes out the bathroom without the wheelchair, but walking to the living room doing a handstand.

Peeta follows.

Peeta: What does it say?

Gale takes out reading glasses, adjusts them on his eyes and reads:

_Dear Katniss, Peeta, Gale, and Saphy,_

_Katniss because of you being a victor you missed 2 years of schooling along with Peeta. It is now a new law that victors that missed school years must complete them this September. Also Gale even though your 18 you still have to go with Katniss and Peeta because I'm the MOTHER FUDGING principal and I enjoy making people's lives miserable, same for you too Saphy. See you in two weeks!_

_P.S. Prim has to go too._

_Sincerely, Principal Snow._

Katniss: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

Peeta: I thought you killed Snow!

Gale: Yeah, but apparently he had a son who is now principal of our school. AND WHY THE FRICK DO I HAVE TO GO I DID'NT KILL HIS DADDY!

Hazelle walks in with the same letter.

Hazelle: Ohhhh Gaaallleee! It's time to go school supply shopping!

Gale: (Whining) But Mooooooom-

Hazelle: DON'T QUESTION MEEEEE! Besides he's the mother fudging principal so CHOP CHOP!

Gale glumly follows Hazelle out the door.

Katniss grabs Peeta's arm.

Katniss: Come on let's go shopping with them!

Peeta: (Whining) But Katttnhiiiissssss-

Katniss: DON'T QUESTION MEEEEEE!

They follow Hazelle outside when.

Katniss: I forgot Saphy!

She walks back to the house grabs Saphy's arm, which makes her fall down from her handstand and drags her away.

Saphy: (Being Dragged) MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

Katniss: YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK!

They catch up to Hazelle and Gale.

Hazelle: (Noticing Saphy) Oh! So your Gale's girlfriend huh?

Gale: MOM!

Saphy: SINCE WHEN?!

Katniss grabs Saphy's mouth.

Katniss: Since when are you allowed to talk?!

Saphy: Phone call from the docturrrr saying thaaaaaatttt I could talk the entire time.

Saphy gives Gale a death glare and hoists him up by his shirt collar and starts shaking him like a maniac.

Saphy: YOU TOLD YOU'RE MOM THAT WE WERE DATING!?

Gale being violently shaken barely manages to utter words.

Gale: I...didn't...mean...TOOOO.

Katniss intervenes.

Katniss: Put him down! Anyways why are you so mad? You NEVER had a boyfriend all your life!

Saphy drops him where he lands on the ground face-flat. Suddenly her face starts to turn BRIGHT red

Saphy: Ummmm I...uhhhhhmmmmmaaa...OH! LOOK! JOY! THERE'S THE STORE! Why don't we do that school shopping eh?

The group walks in to the store and start yah know shopping.

Suddenly a Wild Haymitch appeared!

Katniss: Haymitch! Why are you here.

Haymitch: I'm school supply shopping WHAT ELSE!

Peeta laughs as Haymitch glares at him.

Peeta: Your 42 why are you here?

Haymitch: Apparently I missed 2 years of school according to this letter.

Haymitch shows the group the same letter they got.

Suddenly a Wild Finnick appeared!

Finnick: I also got the same letter!

Finnick Fled!

Katniss: This is super weird.

* * *

After the weird case of shopping, Gale and Hazelle head home as night falls.

Hazelle: Gale say good-bye to your girlfriend!

Gale: Mom she's NOT my girlfriend.

Hazelle: IT DOESN'T MATTER! She's a girl and your friend!

Gale sighs and walks over Saphy who is suspended upside down, literally stuck up in a tree.

Gale: Bye...

Saphy: BYE!

Katniss also starts to head home.

Saphy: KATNISS! KATNISSS!

Katniss: WHAT?!

Saphy: Help me get down? My leg is stuck and the bark is digging into my skin! IT'S PAINFUL!

Katniss: Naw, you'll be fine I'll come back for you in the morning. Come on Peeta.

Peeta: (Drunk) Byeeeehahsshshhhhhhhhhh.

Saphy: I hate you all so much.

A/n: I screwed up with the first chapter so THIS ISN'T THE FIRST CHAPTER the first chapter is in chapter 5 yeah I screwed up. Bad Hevy135 GROUND ME!


	2. Y U SO POOPY!

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ITS CHARACTERS! NOR DO I OWN ANY OF THE MOVIE, MUSIC, TV show, AND VIDEO GAMES MENTIONED THIS IS ALL FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY! P.S I DON'T OWN POKEMON EITHER!

A/n: Please review this for advice and tell me if the episodes are short. Also feel free to give me your ideas. P/S episodes may not have any continuity. ENJOY!

Katniss and Peeta are in the kitchen at 3 am in the morning, making out and naked for some awkward reason. Peeta is using a night vision camera to see in the dark.

Using the camera he points it to the hallway and sees a figure shuffling closer in the distance.

Peeta: Oh dear.

Katniss: What?

Peeta: I think your mom is coming!

Katniss: GASP

Peeta: SHUSH she can't see us.

Mrs. Everdeen shuffles closer holding a blunt pipe. With it she taps the stuff around her cause OBVIOUSLY she can't see.

Mrs. Everdeen: Who's there?

She blindly moves over to the cabinet.

Peeta: Seriously it's like 3 o'clock in the morning!

Peeta gets up and Katniss grabs his hand.

Peeta: Let go I think she's making me a sammich. I wanna see.

With the night vision camera he peeks over Mrs. Everdeen's shoulder.

Peeta: CRAP SHE'S MAKING ME TURKEY! I WANTED HAM!

Mrs. Everdeen: BURGLAR!

With the pipe she starts to blindly beat Peeta with it.

Katniss: MOM STOP! MOM IT'S JUST MY BOYFRIEND!

Peeta: Your mom is insane!

Katniss: Okay! You know what? RUUUNN!

Peeta: BUT I'M HUNGRY!

Mrs. Everdeen grabs Peeta and starts to beat him with the pipe.

Peeta: All I wanted was a sammich!

* * *

Peeta and Katniss are dining at a restaurant with Saphy as their waiter

Saphy: Hello! I am your waiter. Did you pick anything?

Peeta: Yeah we'll have the oyster soup.

Katniss: But Peeta that's expensive!

Peeta: Okay..then what do you want?

Katniss: I'll have the mudfish.

Saphy: Okee dokey coming up.

Saphy leaves and Katniss seem very nervous and scared.

Peeta: Oh baby what's wrong.

Katniss fights back tears.

Katniss: Peeta…..I'm dumping you.

_Meanwhile at District 12's square_

The crowd at the square are having a huge messy debate ABOUT Kyurem's origins (If you don't play pokemon or never played the new gens skip this sub-plot because it's REALLLLY nerdy)

Fan: KYUREM HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ZEKROM AND RESHIRAM!

Fan 2: YES HE DOES!

Fan: NU UH GAMEFREAK IS JUST TROLLING US!

Fan 3: I CAN'T GET THE CAPS OFF!

_Back at the restaurant_

Katniss: Peeta I think we should break up.

A guest next to them gasps loudly.

Peeta: WHAT?! WHY!?

Katniss: It's Gale.

Peeta lets out a groan.

Peeta: Why are you letting that douchebag control you?!

Katniss: I'm doing this to protect you!

Peeta: PSHHH I can take him!

Katniss: Peeta, he's like twice your size! He got taller!

Gale then comes in to the restaurant.

Saphy peeking from the kitchen yells-

Saphy: Ooooo what a coincidence!

Peeta stands up trying to size up to Gale, but Gale is taller so he glares down at him.

Peeta, clearly intimidated says-

Peeta: Uhhh why….don't we settle this by sitting down.

They both sit down and Saphy comes over with their food.

Katniss: Why are you here?

Saphy: I'm here to give you your food!

Katniss: NOT YOU! Gale!

Gale: Why are you still dating this pansy?!

He points to Peeta.

Peeta: I AM NOT A PANSY.

A fly lands in front of him.

Peeta: EEEEEEK!

He falls down backwards from his chair.

Gale: You should be dating me I'm so much better.

Saphy: Noo you're not! I'm team FINNICK!

Gale: STAY OUTTA THIS!

Gale: You know what Catnip? I'll buy you anything you want to eat today, my treat!

Saphy comes over to their table.

Gale: Alright Catnip what do you want?

Katniss smiles evilly and orders-

Katniss: Oyster soup.

Guest: OoooOOOO.

Saphy: Anything else?

Peeta: Cough Salmon cough coouuuugh stuffed with crab meat cough.

Gale: Yeah, Salmon stuffed with crab meat.

Katniss: (whisper) But that's expensive.

Peeta: (whiper) Exactly.

Saphy: Okay.

Saphy leaves.

Peeta: Anyways I thought you were dating Saphy.

Gale: Yeahh I only did that to make Katniss jealous.

Katniss: Did she know?

Gale: Nope.

Apparently Saphy hears this from the kitchen.

Saphy: YOU JERK BISCUITS! NO COOKIES FOR YOU FROM NOW ON!

Gale: Who needs her anyway?

Katniss looks hurt at this.

Then Saphy comes in with the oyster soup and the salmon and bitterly says-

Saphy: Enjoy your stupid food.

Gale: Whateva.

They begin eating when Gale takes out some crab meat and tries to give it to Peeta, Peeta flinches and cowers.

Gale: Relax take it.

Peeta: Oh okay.

_Back at the square_

Prim is walking with Haymitch, running an errand for Mrs. Everdeen.

They notice the crowd.

Haymitch: What's going on over there?

Prim: Nerds are having a nerd debate.

Haymitch: Bout what?

Prim: I donno something about Pokémon?

Haymitch: (GASSSP) I LOVE POKEMON!

Haymitch runs off to join the debate.

Haymitch: What seems to be the problem fellas?

Fan: THOSE IDIOTS THINK KYUREM IS AN ALIEN!

Fan 2: THAT'S BECAUSE HE IS!

Fan 3: GEN 5 SUCKS ANYWAYS!

Haymitch: WHO SAID THAT?!

Haymitch smacks him with a beer bottle.

Haymitch: THEN GTFO!

Haymitch attends the crowd.

Haymitch: Children, children it has been confirmed that Kyurem WAS the original dragon Pokemon in the legend and black and white Kyurem were the original dragon.

Fan 2: SAYS WHO!?

Haymitch shows a copy of Pokemon Black 2.

Haymitch: Says this.

Fans: (Nerd GASP)

_Meanwhile_

Gale gets up.

Gale: Ok Catnip since you dumped this pansy baker boy I'm asking you out.

Peeta: You can't ask her out SHE LOVES ME!

Peeta stands up sizing up to Gale.

Gale: Do you know what I do? I hunt and mutilate the crap out of animals FOO!

Peeta: Oh yeah? I… …I..I..I BAKE!

Guest: OOooooOOOO

Gale raises his fist about to hit Peeta, but this causes Peeta to flinch and he falls backwards to the floor.

A random dude gets a chair and scooches closer to the action.

The Random Dude: Dis gon be good.

Gale walks past Peeta and starts to drag Katniss out of the restaurant.

Saphy: EXCUSE ME!

Gale annoyed turns around.

Gale: WHAT!?

Saphy: You forgot to pay for the food.

Gale: How much?

Saphy: 500 buck pay up.

Gale: Why would I pay this much for crap food and crap service, and you're a piece of sh#$ waiter. I always wonder why you and Katniss are best buddies, your annoying as HELL!

?: HEY!

A tall muscular dude with awesome hair stands up and walks toward Gale.

?: You making fun of my friend here?

Gale seems very nervous.

Gale: HA HA! Don't we all love a good laugh? I mean I just love the food here! Heh heh.

?: So why don't you pay up then.

Gale: Right heh heh!

Gale slaps down his credit card.

Gale: Keep the change!

He runs out of the restaurant.

Then the "Guy" walks over to Saphy.

?: Why don't you go home?

Saphy: Suuure thin. Come on guys let's go.

The trio starts to walk home when they notice the Nerd Crowd, who are now debating about what's better truths or ideals.

The trio finds Prim.

Katniss: What's going on?

Prim: Nerd War.

Saphy: About what?

Prim: Pokemon.

Saphy: GASSSPP POOOKEMONNNN!

Saphy ditches the trio and joins the debate/war and finds Haymitch.

Saphy: What's the debate?

Haymitch: Truths and ideals. Personally I don't even know what they even mean.

The fans turn to Saphy.

Fan: Alright that random fan girl will determine which is better kay?

Fans: Yeah.

Fan: Alright, Girl truths or Ideals?

Gale, in the distance shouts-

Gale: IDEALS FOR THE WIN!

Saphy: IIIIIIIII…

_Drumrollllllllllllll_

Saphy: Prefer…..

Fans: Yeeesssss?

Saphy: (Trollface) CHAOS! KYUREM RULES!

Fans: …...

Everyone: …...

Fans: ….GET HER!

Fans: RAOIHFSOINHOSIADNHADIUGAIDUG ADIUDAU!

Chased by the angry mob Saphy flees carrying Peeta and Katniss over her head.

Peeta: HOW DOES SHE DO THIS!?

Gale: You forgot meeeee!

Saphy: Karma's a fudge nut!

Katniss: Well take us home we have school tomorrow remember?

Peeta & Saphy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOO!

Ending note: Well hope you enjoyed that one. Remember to review OR GET KILLED BY FAN MOB! jk


	3. School sucks

I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR ITS CHARACTERS NOR DO I OWN ANY OF THE MOVIES, TV SHOWS, VIDEO GAMES, AND BOOKS MENTIONED/REFERENCED THIS IS ALL FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY!

A/n: only one review for this fic ? Does ANYONE EVEN KNOW about this fic?!

Katniss is at her house packing up for the boarding school mentioned back in what? Like 3 episodes ago?

Prim: Why do we need to go anyway!?

Katniss: Because President- I MEAN principal Snow said so.

Prim starts to hyperventilate.

Prim: I HEUAH THOUGHT HEUEAH THAT HEUAH YOU KILLED SNOW!

Katniss: Well apparently Snow had a son.

After finishing packing they head to the train station where Peeta and Gale are in a heated argument.

Katniss intervenes.

Katniss: WHAT IS IT NOW!?

Saphy steps out of the shadows.

Saphy: There arguing about who you love better.

Katniss: Isn't it obvious? I love Peeta!

Peeta cheers and laughs at Gale.

Peeta: HA HA ya heard that? She loves me so HA!

Katniss: But thenn againnn I enjoy hunting and chatting with Gale.

Peeta: WHAT!

Gale: HAH!

Katniss: But then- oh my flux capacitor not THIS AGAIN! I thought we settled this in the third book!

Peeta and Gale continue arguing.

The train comes and the group, along with other students gets in the train.

_In the train_

Katniss, Saphy, and the arguing duo get in an empty compartment.

Peeta: YOU KNOW WHAT!? LET'S GO UP TO A RANDOM PERSON AND LET THEM DECIDE WHO SHOULD PROPERLY DATE KATNISS!

Gale: AGREEED!

Peeta & Gale: Saphy?

Saphy: What?

Peeta: Which one of us should date Katniss?

Saphy groans

Saphy: If I was Katniss I would ditch both of you. Plus in my own version of Mockingjay you both die and Finnick and Prim lives SO THERE!

The rest of the train ride is completely silent.

Haymitch comes in.

Haymitch: EMBRACE THE PROBABILITY OF YOUR IMMINENT DEATH AND KNOW IN YOUR HEART THAT THERES NOTHING I CAN DO TO SAVE YOU!

Katniss: WRONG PLACE AND WRONG TIME YOU DRUNK RETARD!

Haymitch: Hmmm? Oh right sorry.

Then a blonde girl passes the compartment, but stops and stares at Saphy.

Saphy, noticing the girl groans.

Saphy: (British accent) Oh my bloody backpack.

Katniss: Who's she?

Saphy: Le fudgenut.

Peeta seems confused.

Peeta: You were bullied?

Saphy: Ehh I wouldn't say bullied, but more yah know irritated.

The girl comes in now aided by two "henchmen"

The Annoying Girl points at Haymitch.

Annoying girl: Who's this you're BOYFRIEND?

Saphy: I WISH!

Gale: OOOHOOHOOOO

Annoying Girl: Ah! Well um you um uhuhh SCREW YOU!

And she stomps out the door leaving her "henchmen" behind.

Saphy: (At the henchmen) GOOOoooOOOOOO!

"Henchmen" leave.

Awkward silence

Haymitch: Soooo.

Peeta: Yeahh who was that?

Saphy: Oh. Just a girl frommmm uhhhh what middle school? Uhhh OH YEAH I got suspended once because I gave her a black eye.

Haymitch: Reaallly.

Saphy: It was totally worth it!

* * *

After about what? 3 hours the train finally arrives at the supposed school.

Students are left off and they enter the school and greeted by president- I mean Principal Snow.

Principal Snow: Welcome students! Blah Blah Blah Blah school is important Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah go to your dorms till tomorrow Blah Blah Blah yadda yadda yadda get you're schedules in dorms.

Vice Principal: Got all that kids? GOOD! In your letters are your dorm rooms GET TO IT! AND IF YOU FORGOT YOU'RE LETTERS TOO FRICKIN BAD!

_One messed up uproar later_

Oh goody the coincidence! Saphy and Katniss are roomates! Oh look more coincidences! Peeta, Gale and Finnick are roomies!

Effie: Hello girls! I will be your dorm advisor person thingy.

Saphy takes one look then tries to swallow a nightlock pill with water, but Katniss stops her causing Saphy to spit water everywhere.

Saphy: (Crying) NO I CAN'T DO IT ITS TO TERRIBLE! AFOASFHEPOCIOOIOHFOHAO!

_The Next Day_

Peeta, Gale and Finnick are all sound asleep at 7:00am when-

Random drill sergeant: GET UP GET UP YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF JUNK AHHHHH AHHHHH!

He leaves

Gale: The fudge was that?

Finnick: I think that was our wake up call.

Annoucement:_ As you may have already noticed random drill sergeants will appear when it is time to wake up!_

Peeta: Oh sure NOW THEY TELL US!?

The trio start dressing up.

Finnick: Hey guys what are your first classes?

Gale takes out his schedule

Gale: Ummmm something called "Health class"?

* * *

The teacher comes in the class, whose name is not important comes in the class.

she talk in a very nice and sweet voice.

Teacher: Welcome Children!

_Silence_

The teacher makes the "Ah-hem" Cough

Teacher: Where I come from the children respond with "Good morning teacher".

Katniss: Ok everyone in this room is like over 17 years old WERE NOT in kindergartern!

The teacher's voice change tone.

Teacher: I have heard of your "Rebellious" attitude Miss Everedeen.

she walks closer to Katniss's desk and her voice gets deeper.

Teacher: AND I WOULD ADVISE YOU TO KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.

She walks back to the front and her voice changes into her normal nice voice.

Teacher: Ok then let's get on with the class!

_RINNNG RIINNNNG_

Kids: YEAH!

Teacher: Tomorrow you will have a OVER 9000 point test! That is worth 90% of your final grade!

* * *

_At lunch_

Katniss is sitting with Saphy, Peeta, Gale, and Finnick.

Katniss notices a bloody gash on Saphy's neck.

Katniss: You okay?

Saphy: Yeah just put a little tape on it its finnee.

Saphy takes out a pile of paper

Saphy: Anyways, Gale you die in Expendables 2.

Gale: WHAAAAAATT!?

Saphy hands him the script.

Saphy: Not joking read it.

Gale: That's it were boycotting this movie!

Finnick slaps him

Finnick: Bah get over it! I died in one 1 sentence and I was never given a proper burial!

Prim passing by shouts.

Prim: Ditto!

Saphy: SUDDENLY A WILD ANNOYING GIRL APPEARED!

What do you know there she is again!

Annoying girl: I HAVE A NAME YOU KNOW! Anyways saw you in Wrestling class I think you TOTALLY deserved it!

_Flashback_

Coach: Ok! Double leg drills for 1 minute. GO!

Saphy is partners with Peeta

Saphy: You go first.

Peeta: K.

Peeta ducks, grabs both of Saphy's legs lifts her up then charges her into the dumpster? (Where the crap was he aiming?)

Peeta helps her up, but can't help her neck that has a piece of glass impaled into it.

Annoying girl: Ohhhh you GOT PWNED!

_End Flashback_

Saphy: I don't care.

Katniss: Yeah she doesn't care!

Annoying girl: Shut up braidy.

This aggravates Katniss

Katniss: (Glaring) Wha'd you call me girl?

Annoying girl: OOoooOOO braidys getting mad.

Katniss flips the table over and grabs the annoying girl by the collar.

Katniss: I don't know who you are, but I recommend you get out of here before I-

Out of nowhere President snow comes walking.

Principal Snow: HEY EVERDEEN! PUT MY DAUGHTER DOWN!

Katniss releases her grip and the girl runs crying to her "daddy".

Annoying girl: (Crying) Oh daddy they threaten to beat me up when wanted to be friends!

Principal Snow: It's okay baby shhhh shhh.

He points to the group.

Principal Snow: All 5 of you detention 7:00pm TONIGHT!

Finnick: Oh come onnn I didn't do anything!

Principal Snow: TOO FLIPPIN BAD!

He leaves with his annoying daughter.

Annoying girl: Mwahahahah I mean WAHHH WHAHHH!

Saphy: Well this sucks.

_7:00pm_

In her dorm, Saphy starts to pack up a boombox and several "bombs".

Katniss: What are those?

Saphy: Let's just say there "Detention material".

* * *

Apparently detention room is called "The Disciplining" and is quite full with other students.

The teacher, whose name is Mr. Welch is the one in charge, he talks in a very deep and loud voice.

Mr. Welch: ALL RIGHT YOU ARE ALL HERE BECAUSE YOU ARE THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO THIS SCHOOL! IN HERE THERE WILL BE NO TALKING AT ALL! ANY TALKING WILL RESULT IN EVEN MORE SEVERE CONSEQUENCES!

Mr. Welch sits at his desk working on his computer.

Gale whispering to Saphy

Gale: Ready?

Saphy: Let's.

Saphy quietly takes out the boom box putting the volume on MAX she turns on "Party Anthem" by LMFAO (Which I do not own)

The music starts at an obnoxiously high level of volume.

Saphy and Gale then proceeds to sing and dance to the music.

Saphy: PARTY ROCK IS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT!

Gale: EVERBODY JUST HAVE A GOOD TIMEE!

Other detention students join in

Students: AND WE GON MAKE YOU LOSE YOUR MIND!

Gale: EVERYBODY JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME!

Saphy: CLAP!

And all heck breaks loose.

Every student in the room goes bat fudge insane especially Finnick who has taken off his clothes and is now running around the room naked with the music still at an extremely loud volume.

Mr. Welch: BACK TO YOUR SEATS NOW!

Obviously no one hears him over the loud music and Finnick going insane.

Amidst the chaos Saphy finds Katniss.

Katniss: I can't believe you actually did this!

Saphy: Ah! I'm not done yet.

She takes out confetti bombs and starts to give it to random people.

Saphy: CONFETTI FIGHT!

Everyone starts to throw the bombs, which explodes in a big mess of confetti and ketchup.

Gale: I CAN'T BELIEVE WE DID THIS ON THE FIRST DAY!

Finnick: (Naked) WOOO HOOO HOOOOO!

Ending note: Well that was some party! Leave a review I enjoy getting suggestions for this!


	4. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES OR IT'S CHARACTERS! NOR DO I OWN ANY MOVIE, TV SHOW, MUSIC, AND VIDEO GAMES MENTIONED OR REFERENCED, THIS IS ALL FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY! Enjoy!

P.s. I never read fifty shades grey. All I know is that it's full of sex and I'm VERY VERY VERY squeamish to sex.

WARNING _LOST_ SPOILERS!

Saphy is hanging out at Finnick, Peeta, and Gale's dorms, watching Lost with Finnick.

Saphy: Say…..how many seasons are there?

Finnick: I dunno…..10?

Gale comes in the room.

Gale: Watcha watchin?

Finnick: Lost.

Gale: I finished that show last night.

Saphy: Well don't spoil it GET OUT!

Gale sits down next to Saphy and starts acting giddy.

Gale: Okee dokey (Cough) (Cough) Jack dies.

Finnick gets up

Finnick: thats it I'm killin you.

Before Finnick can rip Gale's jaws apart Peeta comes in the room with a book.

Peeta: (to Saphy) Sup.

Saphy: Hey what book is that?

Peeta holds up the book which reveals to be-

Peeta: Fifty shades of grey.

Saphy: I'm out.

Saphy leaves.

Gale: What did you say that book was?

Peeta: Fifty shades of grey.

Finnick: Shall we read it?

Peeta: Sure! Yo Gale! Want to join?

Gale shrugs

Gale: Eh sure.

* * *

Saphy comes sprinting in to her dorm, interrupting Katniss' yoga segment.

Saphy goes on a Tourette fit

Saphy: I…HATE IT…HATE IT…..HATE!

Katniss: Calm down there hate what?

Saphy: THAT….BOOK!

Katniss: Twilight?

Saphy: No, sorta.

Katniss: Then what book?

Saphy: Fifty shades of grey.

Katniss chuckles

Katniss: Whats Fifty shades of grey.

Saphy: A book full of porno.

Katniss: Did you even read it?

Saphy: It took me 2 weeks trying to read the book then I threw it out the window into a woodchipper.

Katniss: It's that bad?

Saphy: Well unless you're squeamish to sex than its AWFUL.

_Awkward silence_

Katniss: Well if you'll excuse me I need to buy some pencils.

Saphy: Byeeee!

_Back at the boy's dorm_

Peeta, Finnick, and Gale are huddled together reading the book.

Peeta's in the middle while Finnick is on the right and Gale is on the left.

Finnick: Come on let's get to the part where they have sex! I heard it's _detailed._

Gale: YEAH!

Peeta: There's sex in this?

Finnick: Yes.

Peeta: I'm out.

Peeta leaves

Finnick: Shall we?

Gale: Lets.

They skip 2 chapters getting to the "good stuff"

Finnick: (Reading) Mmm mm mmmm oh yeah.

Gale: (Reading) Okay that's a little TOO detailed.

Finnick: It seems fine to me.

Gale looks at Finnick

Gale: Your sick man.

* * *

Peeta enters Katniss' dorm

Peeta: Katniss?

Saphy: I'm not Katniss.

Peeta: YOU DON'T SAY? Where is she anyways?

Saphy: Pencil shopping.

Gale enters.

Gale: Man I hate that book.

Saphy: Ditto.

Gale trips on a textbook (that is on the ground for some random reason) and falls on Saphy.

The two fall down with Gale on top of Saphy.

Suddenly a Wild School photographer appeared!

_Snap!_

School Photographer: Ooooh Young love caught on camera! I got to show this to the team!

He runs off.

Saphy: Uhh Gale?

Gale: Yes?

Saphy: GET OFF!

They get up from the ground.

Saphy: Aww great he just took a picture of us that look like we were making out!

Gale: Calm down I mean he could get hit by a bus on the way!

Through the window the photographer ALMOST gets hit by a bus.

Gale: Soooooo close.

Peeta laughs evily

Peeta: EVERYONE LOOK GALE TRIED TO KISS SA-

He gets tackled by Saphy

Saphy: (In 4 year old voice) that's not niiiice.

* * *

_EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT!_

_Gale and Saphy CAUGHT making out in the girl's dorm DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN._

Katniss is about to go inside the cafeteria when-

Katniss: Get out here!

Saphy: No way! I'm gonna be ambushed by paparazzi!

Katniss goes out and drags Saphy in whose wearing a big fake mustache.

Katniss holds out her hand.

Saphy sighs and rips out the mustache.

Katniss: See nobodies noticing.

Random passerby: (pointing) LOOK IT'S SAPHY!

Paparazzi ambush!

_Flash! Flash! Flash!_

Paparazzi: Ma'am Ma'am can we please get a word?

Paparazzi 2: Were you always in love with Gale?

Paparazzi 3: Did you kiss him or did he kiss you?

Paparazzi 4: Where is the restroom?

Paparazzi 5: How do you feel by all this commotion?!

Saphy: Ummm Hey look (pointing at a faraway place) Justin Bieber!

Paparazzi: WHERE!?

They run off

Saphy holds out her hand

Saphy: Gimme back my mustache.

* * *

Finnick is still reading Fifty shades of grey now with Annie

Finnick: Look at this part!

Annie: Hahahaaahahah that's sooo funny!

Finnick: I know right!?

They read a certain part and start laughing.

Finnick: HAHHAHA THAT'S HYSTERICAL!

Annie: Woo woo lets read that part!

_Cafeteria_

Katniss is sitting alone.

Peeta comes and sits next to her.

Peeta: Hey wheres Saphy?

Katniss: Probably in her room.

Peeta: Poor kid she's probably in the bathroom crying her eyes out.

_Bathroom_

Saphy's in an empty stall playing Pokémon

Saphy: Finally somewhere peace and quiet and OMG A SHINY DRUDDIGON!

Gale is walking across campus when-

_PAPARAZZI AMBUSH!_

Paparazzi: SIR! SIR! DID YOU KISS SAPHY TO MAKE KATNISS JEALOUS?!

Paparazzi 2: What are your feelings for the girl?

Gale fled!

The paparazzi turn a corner

Paparazzi: Isn't that him over there?

He points to Gale with his arms spread out

Gale: Uhhhhh no I'm a tree.

Paparazzi: Maybe he's that pumpkin over there!

They leave

Gale walks the other direction running into Saphy

Saphy: GALE! I finally figured how to end the paparazzi!

Gale: How?! Cause I'm tired of pretending to be a tree.

* * *

Katniss is browsing around in the school store for some penicils.

She picks out a box with several pencils in it and goes to the checkout.

Cashier: Hello Ma'am! Will this be all?

Katniss: Yes.

He scans the box.

Cashier: Would you be interested in our new special offer?

Katniss: No.

Cashier: How about our survey for a 500$ gift card?

Katniss: No.

Cashier: Do you have a coupon?

Katniss: (Getting Irritated) No!

Cashier: Would you be interested in becoming a member of .com?

Katniss: NO! JUST LET ME BUY THE DARN BOX!

Cashier: …...

Katniss: …...

Cashier: Would you like to buy a highlighter for that?

Katniss: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

* * *

Saphy and Gale are top of a romantic view of the school unaware of the fact the paparazzi are stalking them.

Saphy noticing the paparazzi slaps Gale.

Saphy: I HATE YOU GALE HAWTHORNE YOU RUINED MY LIFFFEEE!

Paparazzi: You getting this?

Paparazzi 2: Yup.

Saphy runs away crying

Gale: Ummmm (reads hand) Oooh right I mean NOOOOOOOOOO!

Paparazzi: Well. There not gonna be dating anymore soooooo why don't we go stalk Justin Bieber?

Paparazzi: YEAH!

They leave.

Gale walks over to Saphy whose hiding in a bush.

Gale: Nice acting.

Saphy: Thanks.

Gale: …...

Saphy: …...

Saphy: See ya ummmmm later.

Gale: MM like okay.

* * *

Katniss: PLEASE for the love of Mitt Romney JUST LET ME BUY MY PENCILS!

Cashier: Okay. Would you like a bag for that?

Katniss throws her wallet at the cashier's face and runs off with her pencils.

Katniss: YOU CAN KEEP THE CHANGE!

* * *

Saphy: Soooo Katniss how was pencil shopping?

Katniss: GYAHHHHHHHHHAHDAH!

Saphy: That's nice.

Katniss: I have no idea how people go supply shopping!

Saphy: I don't go shopping my mom just sends me the stuff.

Finnick: So how did you get rid of the paparazzi?

Saphy: Gale and I pretended to break up.

Peeta: You sure that worked?

Saphy: What makes you say that?

Peeta shows her the latest news.

_EXTRA! EXTRA!_

_Gale and Saphy BROKE UP?!_

_Read more inside!_

Paparazzi ambush!

_Flash! Flash! Flash!_

Saphy: (Okay face) Okay.

Ending note: How'd ya like it? Please leave a comment because I'm getting writers block again


	5. Everybody look at me cause I'm SAILING

DISCLAMIER: I DO NOT OWN HUNGER GAMES AND IT'S CHARACTERS NOR DO I OWN ANY OF THE MOVIES, TV SHOWS, VIDEO GAME, AND MUSIC THIS IS ALL FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY!

A/n: I KNOW I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN LIKE FOREVER! Well I'll tell you what happened firstly I had been very busy with school wrestling and now the season is over I can go back writing. Second I have almost completed stories I just need to tweek it and thirdly WRITERS BLOCK!

Saphy and Peeta are on the couch, bored watching TV.

Peeta: Where's Katniss?

Saphy: I don't know, but I hope she comes soon so we can play…something.

Katniss enters the room looking very anxious with Gale holding a strange DVD.

Katniss: OH MY GOSH LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

Peeta: Don't tell me you rented Twilight again.

Katniss flashes the the blank DVD case

Katniss: This isn't any ordinary DVD.

Saphy: Hooray are we watching nothing again?

Katniss: No, THIS is the scariest, goriest, the most insanely bloodiest movie in the galaxy.

Saphy: And how do you know that it's the scariest, goriest the most insanely bloodiest movie in the galaxy?

Katniss: Gale did some research with the title on the CD and found that this was made back before Panem even existed!

Gale: I also found that it was banned in several places called "Countries".

Saphy: Shall we watch it?

Katniss: I have a better idea LET'S WATCH IT!

Katniss pops in the CD and snuggles in the couch with Gale, Peeta, and Saphy

The title appears as _Guinea Pig__  
_

Before the movie can even flash the first credited name the TV Blows up

_Poker Faces_

Peeta: Something tells me you got ripped off.

Katniss: Thank you Captain Obvious.

Mailman: (Outside) MAIL!

He chucks the paper envelope into the mail hole of the door which hits Katniss in the face.

It says "To Peeta"

Peeta: Woo Mail for me!

he peels it off of Katniss' face and takes out the paper in the envelope it reads- "Congratulations we are happy to inform you that your new awesome fully sail-able pirate ship has arrived please come down to the far edge of District 12 to pick it up and go on an ADVENTURE!

Gale: I don't think "Sail-able" is a real word.

Peeta: WOO my ship arrived!

Katniss: Will it be another _rip-off of the chapter?_

Peeta: Better not be cause I won that boat FAIR AND SQUARE!

_Flashback_

Peeta is in an boxing ring during one of the in-between breaks and is spitting out blood with teeth in it.

Saphy: Alright Peet this will be the last round, win this and you win the boat.

Saphy: Well go on then GOOooOOOOoooOO!

Peeta gets up and faces his opponent who is non other than Cato.

Referee: Well what are you two waiting for START PUNCHING EACH OTHER IN THE FACE!

_Ding!_

Peeta gets in the first strike and gets in several punches on Cato's chest which Cato quickly recovers from and nails an epic whammo on Peeta's face. Sweat and blood flies all over the crowd and Peeta stumbles back in a daze

Saphy: You got blood in mouth! And if you give me AIDS...

Peeta snaps out of his daze and ducks just in time to avoid another whammy to the face he then delivers 2 punches right in the gut that pushes Cato back a few feet and with some space in between Peeta and Cato, Peeta quickly straightens up and throws a punch with every ounce of energy he has left.

(Rocky theme)

The punch gets Cato right in the face and he falls to the ground (In slo-mo of course)

Referee: 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10.

Announcer: Amazing! 200 pound Peeta Mellark of District 12 has utterly PWNED 300 pound Cato Whats-his-last-name!

_End Flashback  
_

Katniss: when was this?

Saphy: I dunno like what?

Peeta: 3...weeks?

Katniss: And you never notified me of this?

Gale: Be quiet Katniss!

Katniss: But don't you guys want anyone else going on this "Adventure"?

Peeta: YES post it on Facebook baby GO GO GO!

**_Katniss' Facebook Wall_**

_Katniss Everdeen**-** Calling all of my Facebook friends who wants to go on an "adventure"_

_Finnick Odair- Depends what kind?_

_Katniss Everdeen- Exploring strange rivers and small oceans caused by the recent earthquake via pirate ship!_

_Finnick Odair- C00L1!_

_Annie cresta- Sweet can I come?_

_Katniss Everdeen: Anyone can come just come to my house in District 12._

_Johanna Mason- I'm so there!_

_Delly Cartwright- WEEEE ADVENTURE!_

_Madge- Okeee DOKEEE :D_

_Beetee: Ok._

Gale starts to leave

Katniss: Where are you going?

Gale: Home to pack up I wanna go to!

He leaves.

Katniss: Saphy you going?

Saphy: Hmph nah.

Peeta: Why not you love sea travel and exploring!

Saphy: Yeah I know, but I dun feel like it you guys have fun.

Saphy gets up and leaves.

Peeta: Bu-

_SLAM!_

* * *

Katniss wakes up on her couch to find a bunch of her friends in her living room.

Katniss: What the?

Peeta comes in

Peeta: Katniss!

Katniss: Peeta...where were you last night.

Peeta: I said I was going to pack our stuff and sleep in the ship so no one steals it remember?

_Flashback_

Peeta: Katniss I'm going to pack up our stuff and sleep in the boat tonight so no one steals it okay?

Katniss: Whatever.

_End Flashback_

Katniss: Oh.

After the confuzzling and irritating process of getting the "passengers" name, Katniss gets on top of a chair and takes attendance.

Katniss: Ok we have: Delly, Finnick, Peeta, Gale, Madge, Mom, Annie, Johanna, Beetee, Rue, Thresh, Brutus and Me.

Finnick (waving his hand in the air): OO OO OOOO Can I be Captain?

Peeta: No I am (Puts on the Captain's hat)

The group gets the rest of their backs triple checks they have EVERYTHING they walk out of the house and head to the lake in the forest.

* * *

Finnick: So where exactly are we going and how did that GIGANTIC river and the supposed "Small Oceans" and "Canals"?

Beetee: Well you see because of the breaking down of the earth and soil caused by the recent Rebellion the oceans filled in to the openings, causing breakouts of oceans and-

An Axe swings past Beetee barely misses ears and lodges itself on to the tree behind him.

Johanna: What? You were boring me.

Katniss: WERE HERE!

The pirate ship is partially up shore tied to a tree.

Gale: How do we get our stuff up there?

Peeta: Uhh we'll get some people up there and the rest of you guys down here can toss up your luggage to us.

* * *

The Peeta unties the rope that is holding the ship back, slams into the ship which causes it to fully be in the water. He then climbs up the rope ladder and their off!

The rest of the passengers just sit on the deck.

Finnick: Soooooo...

Gale: What do we do now?

Peeta: You all realize the inside of the ship is alot bigger right?

Annie: This is a ship?

Peeta: All of you follow me.

Katniss: But shouldn't you be...ya know "captaining"

Peeta: Finnick's got it.

Finnick is in the cabin with the steering wheel going crazy

Peeta: JUST DON'T CRASH HER!

_6:30pm_

The girls are all chilling in the girl's bedroom, which is just a plain room with two bunk beds and a single bed

Johanna: (on the single bed stroking her axe) Man I'm soooo bored. Must. Kill. Something.

Delly: Would it _kill_ you to not kill something?

Katniss comes in the room looking all green and holding a bucket.

Katniss' mom: Seasick?

Katniss: Ye-BLARGHHHHGOSH! (Pukes in bucket)

Johanna: Lucky puking would be so much better than being trapped with you morons.

Madge: Hey! I assure you the boys are just as bored as you are!

* * *

The boys are actually having a blast in the boy's dorm playing Street Fighter.

Gale: I call playing winner!

Thresh: Not until I pwn NerdBoy.

Beetee: Hey I have a name ya know!

_11:26pm_

Finnick has taken Peeta's captain shift and is now steering the ship.

Finnick: Soooooo...boorrreed.

He falls asleep.

_In the crows nest_

Gale: Man can't believe I got stuck with the crows nest!

He takes a sip of his coffee.

Gale: But hey at least I have coffee, but soo bored.

He burps.

Gale: Heh heh heh heh that was kinda fun.

He burps louder

Gale: teeheeheeheeheehee this is fun.

He takes a big breath

Gale: BLLARRGH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAaaa a...

He looks around

Gale: Thank goodness no one saw me.

Gale settles down in the nest, but sees something peculiar in the distance.

Gale: The heck is that?

He gets out his binoculars and zooms in.

Gale: IIICEEEBERG!

He gets on the intercom that is on the post of the crows nest.

Gale: SOMEONE SOMEONE SOMEONE SOMEONE PICK UP ICEBERG RIGHT AHEAD!

Peeta groggily gets up from bed in the dorm.

Peeta: UGHH what is the annoying yelling.

He gets out in the hallway and hears yelling from the intercom.

Peeta: (On the intercom) WHAT!?

Gale: ICEBERG!

It takes a half a second before Peeta is sprinting up to the deck.

Peeta: This better not be like Titanic!

He makes it to the Cabin and sees Finnick sleeping on the shift.

Peeta: Some captain you are.

Peeta chucks Finnick out the deck and then tries to steer away from the iceberg.

Katniss comes in the cabin

Katniss: The craps going on?

Peeta: Iceberg right ahead.

Katniss: Oh okay.

Peeta: No no no wai-

Door closes

Peeta: RUDE.

* * *

The iceberg draws closer and the ship just barely steers away from it.

Gale turns looks to the left in the crows nest and sees the humongous blarp of ice

Gale: This seriously better not be like Titanic.

Peeta: (On the Announcing Intercom) To those who are awake the crisis has passed and may all go to sleep safe and soundly.

Everyone on board: ZZZZZzzzZZZZZzzZZZZZZZZZZ...

3:00am

Peeta is bored and Finnick is still sleeping on the deck.

Peeta gets on the intercom to the crows nest

Peeta: Hey Gale Ya sleeping?

* * *

Gale: ZZZZZZzzzzZZZzzzZZZZZZZZ.

_Gale's Dream_

Saphy is in school packing up things by her locker and Gale slyly walks to her

Gale: Uhhhh Saphy?

Saphy: We?

Gale: Do you uhh wanna ya know go to the movies with me.

Without a word Saphy grabs Gale and starts kissing him, which Gale returns.

* * *

9:00am

Peeta heavily drugged on coffee, very fidgety gets on the intercom to the crow's nest.

Peeta: GALEGALEGALEGALEGALEGALE WAKEYWAKEYWAKEYWAKEYWAKEY!

Gale rudely interrupted from his awesome dream grumpily gets on the intercom.

Gale: DANG IT PEETA I WAS HAVING AN REALLY AWESOME DREAM!

Peeta: Itstimetowakeupitstimetowake upomgomgomgomgomgomgomgits9a mwakeywakeywakeywakey!

Scared Gale get's off the intercom without another word and goes back to his awesome dream.

1:00pm

Finnick wakes up on the deck and notices another ship in the distance.

Finnick: Hmmm?

He goes in the Captain's Cabin and sees Peeta passed out on the steering wheel.

Finnick: DUDE THERE IS ANOTHER SHIP THAT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!

Peeta jerks awake and punches Finnick in the face

Finnick: (Nose bleeding) Uhhhhh OW!

Peeta: I'm SO sorry I was just having a weird dream.

_Peeta's Dream_

Peeta is standing on the bow of the Titanic with Katniss holding him up

Peeta: Near...Far...WHEREVER YOU ARE!

_End Dream_

Finnick: (Blood Drippin on the floor) Well that didn't stop my nose from bleeding!

Peeta: Why did you wake me up?

Finnick: Because THERE IS A FRIGGIN PIRATE SHIP HEADED STRAIGHT TOWARDS US!

Peeta: Really (Get's out Binoculars)

Peeta get's outside and Zooms on the incoming pirate ship and sees a bunch of people on the deck waving their swords around

Peeta: Hey they might be friendly.

The supposed "friendly" ship draws nearer until it is right next to Peeta's ship

Peeta: Ahoy!

The "Pirates" cut down their sail creating a bridge.

Leader: ATTACK!

Peeta: Oh Poo- UAH!

Leader: GET OUT OF THE WAY!

* * *

Katniss and the other passengers come up on deck

Katniss: The craps going on?!

She sees the very hostile looking pirates that have flooded the deck and Peeta's unconscious body

Finnick: (In a Headlock) Ow ow ow ow please gentle gentle gentle gentle!

Katniss: Oh.

Johanna: Wait a minute they look very familiar.

Upon closer examination the pirates are-what are the odds? The Careers from the 74th and 75th Hunger Games dressed in pirate gear

Clove: Yeahhh were gonna gut you like a fish.

Glimmer: I call killing Katpiss for throwing that stupid Tracker Jacker nest on me!

Katniss: Wow what are the odds of that actually happening?

Beetee: (Takes out Calculator) Well approximately uhhhh...1 in 95672365218.

Gale: Wait then who's your leader.

The "leader" takes off his hood and glasses and is revealed to be...

Katniss: Oh My GOSH CATO!?

Cato: I know who I am.

Peeta wakes up and grabs Katniss by the collar

Peeta: KATNISS THE CAREERS ARE TAKING OVER OUR SHIP!

Katniss: I CAN SEE THAT!

Cato: Thats it (Sheathes sword) ATTACK!

The Careers go ape cray cray and starts attacking the defenseless passengers

Glimmer is on top of Katniss trying to stab her with an arrow

Glimmer: I'm GONNA KILL YOU FOR THROWING THAT NEST ON ME!

Katniss: Hey not my fault that you were RIGHT under the darn thing!

Marvel chucks his spear at Rue which hits its mark

Rue: Not...again (Falls to the floor)

Thresh: (Charges at Marvel) I'll KILL YOU!

Among all the fighting and maiming each other, Peeta is lying prone writing a letter

_Dear whoever is reading this_

_HELP US HELP US HELP US HELP US HELP US HELP US HELP US! We are being attack by Career Pirates! Oh kind reader PLEASE HELP US!_

_Love Peeta_

and with that he chucks it in the water and before he can do anything else a giant hand grabs him by his shirt

Cato: Revenge TIME!

Peeta: Ow (Punch) Ow (Punch) Ow (Punch) Ow (Punch) Ow (Punch) OWWWwwWW!

Annie: I'll help you!

She chomps on Cato's calf

Cato: AHHH!

He frantically swings his leg back and forth trying to get the crazy women off his calf

* * *

The Careers finally traps the passengers in a corner

Gale: Ok Ok YOU GOT US!

Cato chucks Peeta to the "Victors" and Annie follows

Annie: Yummy calf.

Peeta: Pain pain pain ouch owwee ouch.

Cato: SURRENDER!

Gale: (Raises hand in the air) WE SURRENDER!

Johanna slaps him

Katniss: WE'LL NEVER SURRENDER THIS SHIP!

* * *

The crew is locked in a very big cell

Delly: Uhhh Katniss?

Katniss: What?

Delly: We just surrendered the boat.

Rue: Can someone PLEASE get this spear out of my stomach!?

Cashmere: QUIET PRISONERS!

* * *

Meanwhile focusing on the piece of letter that Peeta threw overboard, travels across the oceans, gets eaten by a fish, barfed back out by the fish, washes ashore, gets dried by the sun, gets picked up by a strong gust of wind, flies around for 1 day, lands in a forest, gets attached to the hide of a bear that travels across the forests, AND THEN the bear gets jumped by an unknown assailant who stabs it and kills it AND the assailant is revealed to be-

Saphy: MEEEEE!

Quiet!

Saphy: Sorry.

Saphy notices the letter, picks it up, and reads it

Saphy: Well HOW THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO HELP YOU WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE!

_To Be Continued_

Ending note: That was the longest episode I ever did and yes this will be a 2 parter!

P.S. DON'T watch Guinea Pig JUST DON'T!


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